First, I want to thank all of you in this community who support me and keep up with my work. It means the world to me.
I’d like to invite you along for my latest adventure with words, my new blog, The Antidote in Words.
That’s the title, and the webby address where you can follow along with me is,
The Antidote in Words is a journey in thoughts & feelings, and is the first time I’m really sharing the expression of pieces of the innermost me online. Pieces of me past, present, and ever-evolving.
I chose the title, The Antidote in Words, because I see this as a continuous healing journey, through the therapeutic release and expression of thoughts & feelings in writing. Most of the posts on my new blog will be in anecdotal form, and cornball I am, I also enjoy the play on words with anecdote & antidote. I would love to have your feedback and comments if any of my posts resonate with you.
I will continue posting my ramblings on Ramblings of a Mad Hatter, including excerpts from children’s stories which I am writing, and my photopoetry.
I am also working on a blog called, Adventures in LEGgoLand, which will be a series of vignettes of some of my travels & wacky adventures in life!
To get you acquainted with my new blog,The Antidote in Words, here is my first post from that blog, “FLASHBACK FRIDAY: Paradise.”
“In the night, the stormy night, she closed her eyes . .
In the night, the stormy night, away she flies . .”
The perfect evening. (Not that perfect exists, but you know what I’m saying.)
Alone, riding my bike in Prospect Park- that oasis of wilderness in the midst of Brooklyn. It was spring, or early summer of 2014. Dusk was setting in, and a slight breeze caressed the air. The birds yipped as the trees grew dark. The perfect evening.
I was about to do something crazy. For the record, I wasn’t trying to commit suicide. If anything, I was trying to commit to life, surrender to the moment and let it be.
Coldplay’s “Paradise” was playing on the headphones that were plugged into my ears. The song used to remind me of my summer days road-tripping through California and the Pacific Northwest, as it was often pumping on the car stereo. Now, however, the feeling was entirely different.
The winter before, I had been falling in love with someone across the ocean. Deeply, profoundly, like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I was forever changed, for the better. Now, I was deeply heartbroken in love, shattered, confusion running rampant in my mind like a bag full of marbles scattering across the floor. I had literally lost my marbles! And how had my insane behavior made her feel?
I was also struggling with internal demons, illness and family matters that were ripping apart my insides. It had been breaking me down for years, and how I was affecting the people I cared for was weighing on me immensely. Every part of me now wanted to fight to get better.
I had slowly biked up Prospect Park’s tremendously long & steep hill, at a snail’s crawl. Downhill awaited riders, right around that corner. If just for a few moments in time, all the weight of the world was about to be lifted.
Soon I was gliding down the tremendously steep hill; whizzing past the ball fields and ice-cream truck. Coldplay was singing along, “When she was just a girl, she expected the world . . but it flew away from her reach and the bullets catch in her teeth . . Life goes on, it gets so heavy . . the wheel breaks the butterfly . .” Gravity had the bicycle & I descending this hill at a zippity pace! Now here’s the crazy part- I let go.
Hands free, arms wide open, palms turned toward the skies, I was soaring down the hill; the crisp wind at my back. The lyric played, “In the night, the stormy night, she closed her eyes . . In the night, the stormy night, away she flies . .”
And for a few brief moments I did close my eyes, arms extended out like the wings of a bird- flying, I was flying down the hill, past the lake with the ducks & swans, my soul soaring free.
A treasured moment. As with all of life’s experiences, it can never be replicated, it can never be felt twice. But a year and a half later, ColdPlay’s “Paradise” is playing again, and with the breeze in the night air, I flash back to that time I was flying past the trees, and I smile.
FUN FACT: I see the video for “Paradise” now (I hadn’t before that bike ride), and irony of all ironies, the elephant in the video is riding a bicycle! Then he’s riding a unicycle hands free! Though at the end of the clip, the elephant is carrying the weight of the unicycle on his shoulders, and finally feels free when he tosses it to the ground and frolics off through the grass to play with his elephant band, twirling about.